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    • Childless…and LOVING IT!

    By Rene | April 12, 2012

     

    It’s been almost a year since we learned we can’t have children. If you haven’t read about our infertility issues, you can catch up here (Confirmed Defective).

    Before I get into the glory of living the “No Kid Lifestyle”, I will admit to a few things:

    There, that’s that. With that aside, I’d like to present to you something I found online.It was titled “The Top 100 Reasons Not to Have Kids (and Remain Childfree)”. Here are some of my favorites:

    1. You can decorate your home as you wish with as many beautiful and/or breakable things as you wish and you will not have to child-proof your house.
    2. Your pets will get all the love and attention they deserve.
    3. You can eat whatever foods you wish at whatever time of the day you wish out in the open, whether it be a gourmet, exotic meal, or chocolate chip cookies.
    4. You will be able to travel more frequently and your travels will not be limited to summer or school break times, or to kid-friendly destinations.
    5. Speaking of vacations, you will be able to use your paid time off for vacations, instead of burning your days to take care of sick kids.
    6. You will maintain the capacity to be spontaneous – to do things spur of the moment, without complex planning or babysitter arrangements.
    7. Your grocery bill will be at least half of that of a family with children.
    8. You will spend your weekend doing things you enjoy, instead of attending boring children’s soccer games and birthday parties, or playing chauffeur.
    9. Every night can be “date night” if you want it to be.
    10. You can watch whatever you like on television at any time without censoring and you can watch complete shows or movies without constant interruptions.
    11. You will not have to change diapers, wipe snotty noses or all of the many other stomach-turning things a parent must do.
    12. You will not have to endure crying, screaming, fighting, temper tantrums and other surly child behavior.
    13. You will not have to save thousands upon thousands of dollars for a child’s college education (or more importantly stress and worry about where the money will come from).
    14. You never have to set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese.
    15. Holidays like Christmas can be affordable, manageable and relaxed if you choose.
    16. You will never be disappointed on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day (unless you have unreasonable expectations of your pets).
    17. Going out for an errand will entail hopping into your car, buckling your seatbelt and leaving instead of a full half hour production to get the kids dressed, fed, ready and situated in the car.
    18. Your pets can roam freely in your house with no fear of being sat on, squeezed, poked, or having their ears, hair or tails pulled.
    19. New Years Eve will continue to be a rockin’ late night blow-out affair for you.
    20.  You will not have to pay thousands of dollars a year on child care, or burden your family members by using them as babysitters. You will never have to hire a babysitter.

    My own personal list!

    1. We wouldn’t be able to rescue dogs anymore.
    2. No Kool-Aid stains.
    3. I don’t need to hide electrical cords (I have a lot of them!)
    4. What’s a Doodlebop?
    5. No matter how old our kids get, it’ll never be considered creepy that they sleep in the bed with us.
    6. You can’t “legally” put kids in a cage when you leave the house
    This is why we don’t get asked to babysit anymore. It worked!

    I hope this blog post hasn’t offended anyone. It definitely wasn’t my intention. This was just my form of acceptance – or closure. It’s been sitting in my drafts for quite a while now. I finally decided to post it after seeing a couple friends post blogs about their kids. This isn’t to combat those posts…I just keep forgetting to post and they reminded me to do so!

     

    Topics: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

    2011: The Up’s & Down’s

    By Rene | December 15, 2011

    I remember when 2010 concluded, we kept repeating to ourselves “2011 will better”. I can’t even remember why 2010 was such a bad year. Little did I know, 2011 would outshine it for the most part. I would have to classify 2011 as one of the most emotionally draining years of my life. I’m including the dreaded teenage years as well!

    The tail end of 2010 had us visiting a dear friend in the hospital watching her slowly slip away from the world. Our friend Audrey had beaten Cancer at least half a dozen times, but this time proved to be too much. As her breast cancer spread to her brain, I learned what it was like to slowly say goodbye. Audrey passed away with her friends and family surrounding her on January 24. We planned to bring in food from her favorite restaurant that day, in hopes that she would recognize the smell. Obviously we couldn’t do it. After the funeral, a few of her friends and family decided to make it a tradition to go to that restaurant on the 24th of every month to honour Audrey’s memory. That lasted 3-4 months. I feel bad that we dropped the ball on this. Life got busy I guess. I do think of her every day, but more on the 24th.

    We also received some very bad news in terms our future ambitions. We learned we couldn’t have children of our own. We met with the fertility specialists and the odds they gave us of successfully conceiving were very discouraging. All of the comic books, hockey cards, and childhood stuffed animals I’ve been saving for my child are now useless. Sure I could give them to a niece or nephew, but it just isn’t the same. It hurts every time I look at these things, but I don’t want to let them go JUST IN CASE a miracle happens. A painful reminder disguised as a hopeful wish.

    The bright side to the infertility is that we can put more focus on rescuing dogs. We constantly tell ourselves that CaliCan would suffer if we have kids. That’s probably 100% true. Since CaliCan started, we’ve brought 93 dogs up to Canada. Technically, we’ve helped rescue 98 dogs as 5 of them stayed behind because their Californian foster home fell in love. Not too shabby, eh? We don’t see ourselves as heroes and we’ll often deflect compliments for our work. We’re definitely a humble couple when it comes to this. The rewards we get through CaliCan is meeting all these wonderful people, whether it be foster homes, adoptive homes, or supporters. The outpouring of love is phenomenal!  We’ve made a LOT of friends through CaliCan. If we can figure out how to do this for a living, we would in a heartbeat.

    Speaking of “for a living”, I changed my career…twice! I left the job I was with for the past 5 years and took a HUGE leap. A leap that made me fall on my butt. Luckily I had a back up plan. I left that job and went back to the medical industry. Instead of Sexually Transmitted Infections, I now work with Communicable Disease Control. A nice raise and the fact I got to keep my seniority makes Rene a VERY happy man.

    This year also presented two milestones in my life. In April, I turned the big 3-0. My lovely wife, Kari, threw an awesome party and invited a few close friends to help me celebrate. Since I partied a little TOO hard, I can’t tell you much of the party. Damn shots!

    Kari and I also celebrated our 5th Anniversary. I decided to surprise Kari with a recreation of our wedding reception. Same venue, same DJ, and ALMOST same menu. I learned that getting married on the August long weekend may have been a bad idea if I wanted people to help us celebrate in the future. What I hoped to be a 150-person guestlist turned into only 40. I blame the Folk Fest and “Wicked” for the lack of butts in the seat! lol But that’s okay…it just means the 10th Anniversary will need to be better planned. We had a blast with the 40 people who showed up. A few stragglers stopped by too! We partied until the end of the night and everyone had a blast. It was also the last chance we got to see our friend Wendy.

    Wendy and Jason were turning into good friends of ours. Jason was a GIANT geek…just like me. Wendy was the perfect compliment to Jason as well. We had Rockband nights singing until the wee hours of the night. To be in the presence of this couple was truly awesome. Big things were coming in terms of this friendship. Kari had been planning with Wendy to stop by so she can learn the ways of the “Scrapbooker”. A week before this happened, Wendy was rushed to the hospital. They learned she had a blood clot in her lungs. As the week went by, Jason gave us updates that she was getting better. Kari was planning to make her a Get Well Soon card with the scrapbooking skills she picked up on her own. She was admitted to the hospital on a Tuesday. I believe it was Saturday morning when we read an email from someone asking what happened to Wendy. Thinking they were just referring to the old news of her being rushed to the hospital, I passed it off. Kari kept searching for mentions of it on Twitter. She then started bawling. Wendy had passed away at the age of 35….

    I cried once when Audrey died. I couldn’t stop crying when Wendy died. Both of these ladies held a special spot in my heart, but it’s totally different when it’s unexpected. Everything seemed weird from then on. The world was suddenly unfair to someone other than myself. The personal pity party was done. No matter what life throws at you, it could be worse. Audrey and Wendy were AMAZING people whom I would never forget. We were truly BLESSED to know them. Whether it be for months or years. Through Wendy’s tragedy, I’ve had the privilege to become better friends with Jason. A sacrifice to my waistline, we’ve been having wing nights every Thursday. It’s something I look forward to every single week. Jason has turned into the guy who was just a friend…to one of my best friends. It’s funny how moments of tragedy can bring out good stuff. I’ve worked to become a better person, because you never know what may happen. I hope Kari knows how much I love her. I hope my friends and family do too. I may play the “tired” card too often…I just hope you don’t mistaken it for annoyance or boredom. I appreciate everyone in my life.

    Kari and I have also decided to get serious about our health. We joined the gym and started eating healthier. I weighed in at 245 in September and am now 225. My belt needs to be tightened by two notches and I’m gaining a LOT of muscle. Maybe in 6 months, I’ll actually look like that guy I pasted my head to on the Twitter avatar (I kinda hope not..that’s a little sick). Kari’s been doing well. She’s the type who can lose weight just by eating right. Her health wasn’t the greatest this year, but you can blame allergies for that. Constant asthma attacks prevented her from doing most things, but she is starting to get in control of it by seeing an Asthma & Allergy specialist. Getting rid of our dogs is out of the question ;-)

    The best part of 2011 was making so many friends. Through CaliCan or Twitter, we’ve met some awesome people. Through triumph and tragedy, you guys are always there for us. It’s been a tough year, but you’ve made it better.

    Here’s to 2011 – In all honesty, don’t let the door hit you on the ass. 2012, we can’t wait to meet you! It’ll be a great one!

     

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    Exhausted

    By Rene | September 16, 2011

    Typically, when someone asks Kari and I how we’ve been, we respond with “We’re good…BUSY and tired, but good”. This usually leads into a conversation about our dogs and CaliCan. We’ve been so focused on the lack of spare time we get, we rarely follow it up with another “How are you?”. It’s not intentional at all, our minds just trail off thinking exactly how busy we really are.  It wasn’t until tonight that I realized that we don’t have much to complain about. 

    Literally 30 minutes ago, I left the Quiznos store on 97 street and 137 ave (across from Northgate Mall). As soon as I entered the store, I was greeted by a sweet lady. I asked if she’s still cooking tonight, and her response was naturally “For you I am!”. It was just her and I in the store, so a conversation started. She was asking me how my day went, then week, and if I was just starting the weekend. All smiles too. I asked her why she was the only one working, to which she responded that that store was short staffed. This bubbly lady was the Manager of the store I was in, and you can read the exhaustion in her eyes. She went on to explain they’ve been short staffed for so long, she’s been working open to close for the last 6 weeks. Not a single day off. 10:00 am until 9:30 pm. I asked her what she did for fun, “I wake up at 6:30 every morning to get my two children ready and off for school. It’s the only time I get to spend with them”.

    That statement rocked my world.

    Here I am, complaining about how tired I am all the time…doing something I LOVE. This lady was tired doing something she needed to LIVE. I will try my best not to complain anymore about being exhausted, because I know I’m not even a fraction as tired as she was. And she kept a smile on her face nearly the whole time. The one exception was when she said the statement. Her eyes started watering up and she stopped smiling. I wanted to jump over the counter and give her a hug.

    As I was paying for my sub, she asked me where my wife was (she recognized me), to which I explained that she was in the car because she wasn’t feeling good. Immediately, she gave me a cup and told me to grab some Ginger Ale…she also threw in a cookie for when Kari got better. I decided to tip her $10 on a $7.50 meal. After she saw what I did on the debit machine, she wanted to make sure I didn’t make a mistake. I told her she deserved it. Her eyes watered again. I then went on my way, wished her better luck in the future and a great night. I was very tempted to ask for an application just to help the poor lady out.

    The Quiznos Manager isn’t the only person who goes through this. There are many Moms and Dads out there doing the same thing to survive. The world is an unfair place. Seeing things like this makes me appreciate what I have a whole lot more.

    In closing, there’s not much I can do to help her out. What I can do is ask all who are reading this to think of someone who would like to work at Quiznos in the north end. They need the help and you couldn’t ask for a sweeter Manager.

    Topics: Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

    Do Something More

    By Rene | September 1, 2011

    Lately, the heroes of the online world have an easy task. Retweet a tweet or share a status update.

    One of the more famous online campaigns comes around this time of the year. It usually has to do with Breast Cancer awareness. What drives me up the wall is that it’s always a big secret – Something Men cannot know about. How is this spreading awareness? Why are Men left out as well?

    Post the colour of your bra

    Where do you like to put your purse?

    What size are your feet?

    Then there’s the newest viral “campaign”. You’re supposed to post a status update according to the month and date you were born. The end product will have you saying something like “I’m 4 weeks and craving M&M’s”. That is it. It’s all tongue-in-cheek among the fairer sex. “DO NOT tell any males what the status’ mean, keep them guessing. Why? Are Men not allowed to have a social conscience towards something like Breast Cancer? The Price Is Right’s Rod Roddy died of Breast Cancer. I LOVE my wife, I LOVE my Mother. Guess what? They are both women. I care about their health. I’ve ran in Breast Cancer relays in support of women. Leaving Men in the dark to promote awareness is just plain dumb.

    Earlier in the Summer, there was a movement going around Canada called “The Slut Walk”. It all started with a Police Officer in Ontario basically saying that if you dress slutty, you deserve what’s coming to you. Women all across Canada (Men too) took a stand and started rallying against attitudes such as that. Successful rallies were held in every Province. When it hit Edmonton, it came with controversy. Edmonton’s Mayor stopped the event from taking place on Jasper Avenue – One of Edmonton’s busiest roads. Well, he didn’t stop it, but he did impose a fee to allow them to do this. Long story short, the “Slut Walk” turned into something totally different. As an outsider looking in, the message just wasn’t there anymore. The new message presented by the media and the majority of the social media users catching  on was now “Fight City Hall” . That’s all anyone saw after it hit the news.  People started mud throwing and bashing City Hall with many aggressive tweets, facebook & blog posts. When the day arrived for the Slut Walk, the message was unfortunately lost.  The crazy amount of “City Hall Bashers” were not represented in the walk itself. They had a fair amount show up, but not the numbers represented online or in the media. The TRUE message was lost in a sea of bureaucracy and anger.

    After all the political drama, the walk went on.  They started on the Legislature Grounds, and ended up in front of City Hall. It was a peaceful protest. The organizers did a wonderful job, but anger turned the event into something totally different. To be fair, If I were in their shoes, I’m sure I would have let anger take over as well.

    What I’m getting at is this: Imagine if all those supporters volunteered some time at a women’s shelter? Donated $10 or $20 as well? Much more could have been accomplished. It’s easy to say you’ll do something behind a computer. Actually getting out and DOING it is a different story. All of the ladies who braved the cold and protested – You did it right! Bravo to you for standing up for what you believe in. Hitting a retweet button or forwarding an email doesn’t take much.

    This week, a local salon came under fire because of an ad campaign. The ad in question featured a woman sitting on a couch with an obvious black eye. Behind her was a man who looks as if he was going to present her a “sorry gift” in the form of jewelery. This lit the social media community on fire. The salon defended it as art, while the majority of the world saw it as filth (I’m one of them). The owner of the salon also fought back and told the angry mob “ “Maybe people should stop hiding behind their computers and actually go do something.”. Ouch. Unfortunately, after I pasted this quote, I realize how similar this blog post sounds to that quote…but I’m taking it in a different context. I am saying it to encourage you, while she said it to add fuel to the fire (or so it seems). One good thing that came out of this ad campaign was that it brought awareness to domestic abuse. I highly doubt this was the intention, but things can be funny like that.

    It’s now in the back of your mind. What are you going to do about it?

    DO SOMETHING MORE.

    Women’s shelters, animal rescues, medical foundations, youth shelters, or whatever else you can think of  - They can use your hands as well as your voice. Get out and donate your time. It can take an hour a week or many. Make a difference with your heart, mind and body.  Volunteering can be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.

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    The “Diet”

    By Rene | August 28, 2011

    The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, it was because I was eating every two hours. I was also trying to maintain a 50/25/25 ratio of Protein/Carbs/Fat. According to a few websites, I need to consume 2100 calories in a day to lose weight. I am finding this VERY difficult. I am worried I am putting my body in starvation mode or I’ll hit a plateau too soon.

    Here is my daily diet.

    6:30 am – Protein shake (1 cup skim, 2 scoops powder, 2 slices of peaches, 2 tbsp udo’s oil)

    8:30 am – Apple

    10:30 am – Turkey Bacon and 2 hard boiled eggs

    12:30 pm  – Can of tuna (with 1 tsp of miracle whip light)

    2:30 pm – Veggies (1 cup cucumber, 1/2 cup carrots, 1/2 green peppers).

    4:30 pm – Yogurt

    6:30 pm – Protein Shake (post gym)

    7:30 pm – Dinner (typically a chicken breast, steamed broccoli and spinach mandarin salad with 2 tbsp of dressing).

    10:00 pm – Chocolate Milk (my only guilty pleasure…don’t judge).

     

    That’s my diet. I’m only drinking water (4-5 litres a day).  I’m not sure what else I can add to increase my caloric intake. We go to the gym 3-5 times a week and work out hard. Each gym trip is 1-hour and half is usually spent on cardio.

    I hope I’m going this right. The goal is to lose 40 lbs in 6 months. It’s definitely doable and a healthy goal (from what I’ve been told). It’s going pretty good so far! We still devote one day for a “cheat”…and of course, I’m not giving up on that chocolate milk lol

    So…what do you think? Any suggestions or tips are definitely appreciated :)

     

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